When you think of prison, you probably imagine the bleak life shown in movies like The Shawshank Redemption. But although prison does completely suck, if you have money, things can suck a little less. A prison commissary (a type of general store) actually has way more stuff than you'd ever think. Sure, it varies depending on your particular prison and security level, but there's quite a bit you can buy to make life behind bars just a little more bearable.
Aside from the usual things, like hygiene products and other basic necessities, you can treat yourself to everything from seafood specials to scrapbooking supplies - not to mention a few items that seem a little risky, like cables and scissors.
Here is a list of some stuff you may never have expected to see in a prison and just what it costs to obtain it. Check it out, you never know when it'll come in handy...
Stuff You Can Actually Buy in a Prison Commissary,
Octopus
Price: $1.65
You may associate prison food with nondescript gray mush, but think again - there's a prison in Colorado that allows inmates with a sophisticated palate to order baby octopus.
Oysters
Price: $2.20
On a good day, you wouldn't want to get oysters from just anywhere - and probably the last place you would want to get them is a prison commissary, because there's a pretty good chance you'll die of food poisoning. Especially if they cost that little.
If you don't trust fresh prison seafood, you might want to stick to tinned sardines, which are also available in prison commissaries.
Yarn and Crochet Hooks
Price: The yarn itself goes for about $4-10. A six pack of crochet hooks is $1.95
Prison time is slow time, so you need something to keep the mind occupied. It's hard to imagine tough-guy inmates knitting and crocheting, but prisons have found that offering knitting classes can lead to calmer, happier inmates. As long as they keep the supplies away from anyone who might misuse them...
Calculators
Price: $14.10
This is actually kind of cool. You can imagine there's a guy managing a prison economy with one of these things, adjusting the relative price of cigarettes as the market changes.
Fabric Dryer Sheets
Price: $3.85
TV and movies show inmates assigned to do group laundry detail, but apparently you can get your own laundry soaps and dryer sheets. For a small fee, you can even keep your prison uniform feeling extra soft.
Locks
Price: $7.65
While they don't specify exactly what kind of locks prisoners are allowed to buy, the principle is kind of strange. With random cell searches a regular occurrence in prison, wouldn't you want all a prisoner's stuff to be easily accessible? What kinds of things could they lock away?
Rain Poncho
Price: $1.55
Most prisons have a yard where prisoners can get some fresh air, but this one just seems a little silly. Would they let the prisoners outside if it was raining so hard you'd need a poncho?
Six-Foot TV Cable
Price: $2.15
There's no problem with prisoners hooking up their TVs - but a six-foot-long cable can be used for a lot of things. You know, like strangling someone. Extension cords and headphone cables are also available in many commissaries. Hopefully these are only sold in minimum security prisons...
Photo Album Adhesive
Price: $2.75
Who knew that there were people making photo albums in prison? However, you can make memories just about anywhere - at least this way they can look pretty.
Denture Cleaner
Price: $2.80
This one may sound silly at first, but it does make sense. After all, there are old people in prison, too. Did they bring their own dentures, or are they government-issue?